9:40 a.m. - 2002-02-26
An open letter to my houseplant.
This is in response to a request for parody from Colin-g
This is an open letter to my houseplant, who ran away from home 3 weeks ago to join the forrest.
Plant... I am hoping somehow this will find you as you make your way to South America to join the rain forest. You left in the night and allthough I didn't have an oppourtunity to talk to you one more time or say goodbye, I have some advice for you.... rules for living if you will.
You are young yet, just barely re-potted, ... you think you know everything and the world is your compost heap, but listen to me one more time. Your old gardener knows a few things.
1) Don't ask too many questions about fertlizer. Its good for you, you need it, accept these two things and question no further. Sometimes its better to just accept, the details can cost more than the 'knowing' is worth.
2) Your roots really are not. I've never tried to keep things from you, but I never quite felt the time was right to explain something to you. You are not like other plants... You were taken from your real mother plant as a runner. I took you in and took care of you, nutured you and watered you. THat plant has not once sent a card or a phone call to ask how you are doing. I know you sense something is missing, that wildneess you talk about when I open the kitchen window and the breeze comes in. So this is going to be very hard for you to accept...
You have a pot. Your roots do not really go into the ground and you actually are not part of the earth.. Yes you make oxygen and yes you take in carbon dixiode.... but no, for a very long time now you have been seperate from what you were intended to be...and I am sorry for that.
Stay tuned for rules 3 - 6. 3) Spring is optional. 4) Runners are a waste of energy. 5) Never trust a cat. 6) Even weeds bloom.
